A Melancholy May

The last three weeks have been busy with Easter, my birthday and tomorrow is Cinco de Mayo followed by Mother's Day.  While this is all fun stuff, each one of these dates reminds me of the transitions in my family that took place over the last year.  Easter was often spent with my Grandma.  Her favorite flower was the Easter Lily and every year one of her neighbors or a member of her congregation would buy her one of the beautiful, odd smelling flowers.  When I'd go over she'd be on 'lily watch' checking the progress of it going from a closed bud to a beautiful, star shaped flower.  My grandma was also the queen of canned ham and to me Easter and ham go hand in hand.  In an email my Uncle Mike mentioned how seeing a canned ham at the grocery store choked him up and that he felt silly.  I told him I felt the same way. 

My birthday was super fun.  I took the day off and got up at 3 am and watched the royal wedding live.  I watched the wedding of Princess Di when I was 3 years old and became obsessed with her after that.  I even had Princess Di paper dolls as a kid and remember exactly where I was and what I was doing when I heard she had died in a car accident.  Some people think the royal family is silly, I think it is a modern day fairytale.  After the wedding and the kisses on the balcony I crawled back into bed and slept in.  The rest of the day was spent shopping, we went to happy hour and sushi with the crew and I got to spend some quality time with the hubby.  Saturday we went wine tasting in Temecula and Sunday we spent the day doing some spring cleaning around the house and got the patio ready for BBQ season.

Tomorrow is Cinco de Mayo and usually a reason to celebrate with friends.  This year I will skip that and instead hit the gym and come home and make fajitas for me and Jeff.  I will also think of my Uncle who passed away a year ago on May 5th and remember the phone call that night from Amanda telling me he was gone and the next day going over to my grandma's to be with my family.  One of the most painful memories I have is that of my grandma in tears after being told she had lost a son to cancer.  Incidentally, May is Melanoma Awareness month. 



My cute little Grandma


This year while picking out Mothers Day cards I still skimmed the ones for grandmothers although I no longer have one to buy a card for.  My Uncle is going over to my Aunt Pat's for the day which makes me feel better.  As sad as I am about my first Mothers Day without my grandma around, I am so excited for the friends and family that became moms this year and will be celebrating their very first Mothers Days as mommas!  I also have my own fabulous mom to honor as well as two mother in laws.  It will be a good day.

Me, Jeff and my Grandma on our wedding day 9/07/08

So this post was a little melancholy, but that has been my mood for the past few weeks.  As they say, this too shall pass and before long I'll be my happy self again.  Sometimes it feels good to be sad, it makes the times you are happy that much more vibrant and joyous.  My grandma firmly believed that death was not the end and told me that someday we'd all be together again.  Whether its true or not its a beautiful thought and I'll hold onto that for now. 



May is also th anniversary month of my Papa's passing



My family including my Grandma (front) and Uncle Steve (3rd from top right)
How cute is it that she is holding Jeff's hand?